Why Even Bother?
Monday, December 29, 2008
If your heart isn’t in something completely, why would you even waste your time trying to accomplish said something?
Too often, of late, and really, for about the last year, I’ve found myself pondering that exact question.
Why even bother?
I’ll be the first to admit that since about the middle stages of 2007, I’ve been a losing online poker player. No whining about that and really, no excuses for my play. I’ve played poorly on way too many occasions to ever bitch about the inevitable bad beats that occur when one is running poorly. And I do mean POORLY.
Compounding a bad run with poor play is inexcusable for someone who actually thinks they know a thing or two about this game we all play on a fairly regular basis. I have compounded a bad run with POOR PLAY over and over again for the last year and a half.
Again, I don’t have any excuses for it, other than this: Apparently, I don’t give a shit any more.
I don’t care if I play poorly.
I don’t care if somebody sucks out on me.
I don’t care if my money is going in ahead or behind.
And last but not least, and this is supposed to be a GOOD thing, I don’t care about the money any more.
I have become a numb, apathetic rock, seated in the 3 seat at a 6-handed cash table or in the 5 seat at a full table.
Oh well, another 2 outer? Who cares?
Oops, he did have A-A? Who cares?
Ha ha, he flopped a straight flush with suited connectors? Who cares?
I certainly don’t and haven’t for a good, long while when it comes to poker results. When playing poker, one isn’t supposed to focus on results, just making correct decisions, because in the long run, if you consistently make good decisions, you will be rewarded. I can vouch that the long run is definitely longer than a year and a half. Personal experience sucks!
Again, I have nothing and nobody to blame this on but myself. I have continued on and tried to play, regardless of results, when clearly, what I needed was a break, and an extended break at that. But, hell, I’m too stubborn for that. I’m smarter than most of these people that play at the lower levels. This is bound to turn around. Hmmm, so far, yeah NO!
This certainly isn’t meant to be a pity party for poor old me, quite the opposite in fact. This is supposed to be the cold water to the face, the wake-up call to myself, if you will.
You see, a few days ago, I went busto. AGAIN.
I get a little stipend from the good folks at Full Tilt every month around the 15th, but I have spent the last 4 or 5 months blowing through that in fairly short order and then waiting around on the 15th of the following month so I can get back to playing a little bit.
I’m taking that break that I’ve never been able to take before, at least from Full Tilt. Perhaps I’ll let that little stipend build up for a few months so that I might actually be close to bankrolled for the limits that I will be playing, when, or better yet IF, I decide to make a go of it again.
I’m doing something I’ve only done about 5 times since I first began playing online, some 4+ years ago. I’m going to make a deposit onto another poker client. Which client you ask? I think I’ll keep that to myself for the time being, although anybody with any brain would be able to find me if they wanted. My screen name is the same on virtually all the clients that US players are allowed to play on.
It’s been a long time since I played on this particular client, but let’s just say I have fond memories of the times from before there.
My plan for 2009 is up in the air right now. I honestly don’t know what I want to do or have any idea how I would go about making it happen, so I will be flying by the seat of my pants. If it’s an MTT, so be it. If it’s a cash game, so be it. Perhaps it’s time that I got back to playing a butt-load of SNG’s. I used to be pretty good at them, of course, I used to be pretty good at poker. Not so much nowadays.
So, the doom and gloom from the past year and a half is behind me, for now. I plan on playing poker, like always, on at least a semi-regular basis and my plan is to re-read a few books, possibly join one of the strategy sites and try my best to get my mind back around this game that has been kicking me in the balls for the past year and a half.
Much easier said than done for me at this point, but that is where I’m at and that is the direction I will be heading.
Until next time, make Jordan’s poker and may Tripjax’s felt be with you,
posted by GaryC @ 6:33 PM, ,
Merry Christmas To All....
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
........and to all a good night!
I hope everybody has a safe and healthy holiday season and a very prosperous New Year!
posted by GaryC @ 3:19 PM, ,
Monday, December 08, 2008
I've detailed many times on this humble, little blog, the many things in my life that I have to be thankful for. From my Mom, to my loving wife, my wonderful daughters and even my caring Mother-In-Law, the list seems to get a little bigger every year, which, in no uncertain terms now, means I'm getting old.
I've pretty much come to grips with the fact that play time is over. I'll be forth-three in about four weeks and the time for fun and games is over. With the current state of the economy and the fact that my kids are almost grown, I need to get on with the living, cause it ain't gonna last forever.
I took the entire week of Thanksgiving off from work this year and hunted a total of 8 out of 9 days during that stretch, unsuccesfully, I might add. I was also able to spend nearly two full days with my Mom, which, at this time of year, is even more important to me. Our family has always been close, but the holidays seems to draw us even closer. I enjoyed that time immensely and if I could, I would spend that much time with her every week. Unfortunately, work and life get in the way, and that two hour drive is always staring at me, as well.
I was up around 4:00 am every morning to go deer hunting and when Thursday rolled around, my eyes opened at 4:01 am, without the hint of an alarm clock. (another cue that you aren't as young as you used to be, for you youngsters out there) Anyway, Thanksgiving morning, at 4:15 am, I'm trolling the streets of my little home town, finding a cup of coffee at the local convenience mart and I'm off the cemetary, to spend a little time with my Dad.
It had been nearly half a year, probably around Easter of 08, since I made the drive out west of Bixby to visit with Dad and I was looking forward to it very much, like I do every time I go. My girls, my wife and even my Mom have made the trip out there with me in the past, but I relish the times when I go by myself. I stood there, shivering in the cold, and hung out with my Dad for at least a half an hour, telling him all about my hunting adventures and all the things going on in my busy life until, finally, as if on cue, I caught a falling star out of the corner of my eye. Dad always finds a way to let me know he's there and this was just another example of that. With a tear frozen on my cheek, I said my goodbyes, told him I loved him and headed back to the truck. It was time well spent in my book.
I finished the tour of my home town by stopping through at my Grandma and Grandpa's little house, the house in Southtown, where I grew up, my Mom and Dad's original house when they retired and finally, a quick run by the school where I spent all but my senior year roaming the halls. It's always great to get back and reminisce about the good old days, even though that simpler time will probably never be seen again by me, or my kids or even their kids. I love that little town and will always be a Bixby Spartan at heart.
As I've also said before, I feel a particularly close presence when I'm sitting in a tree stand or a ground blind. It feels like my Dad is right there with me and it is a very special time for me, something I will probably do for the rest of my life. I also feel that same type of emotion when I get to spend time with my Mom, even though it never seems like enough time. With work and the kids' school, we're always in a hurry to rush back to Oklahoma City, to get on with our lives.
I heard this line in The Shawshank Redemption a long time ago and it never struck a chord with me until I started this post today.
"Get busy living or get busy dying."
It's about that time for me, so, until next time, I'll get busy living. I hope you do, too.
posted by GaryC @ 8:38 PM, ,
More BCS Thoughts
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Actually, more thoughts to some of the Texas fans out there. Not necessarily WillWonka or Mookie, but more toward the blathering idiots that can't seem to let it go.
Last Saturday, in Stillwater, prior to the Bedlam football game, some bozo from Texas hired a plane to fly around Stillwater all day long, trailing a banner reading Texas 45 - Oklahoma 35, the actual score of the game, back in October, like, apparently, we had forgotten that.
This motivational poster is just for that type of fan:
posted by GaryC @ 3:06 PM, ,
That Brag Post You Knew Was Coming
Monday, December 01, 2008
As usual at the first of the month, I am still trying to play online poker tournaments on at least a semi-regular basis. You should too.
Now that that's out of the way, HOW ABOUT THEM SOONERS!!!
I know, I know what you're going to say, it's rigged, it's fixed, they got BEAT DOWN by the Longhorns in October on a NEUTRAL field, for God's sake. You know what? That was October. I dare you to find me a hotter football team in the entire United States right now. (All apologies to Alabama, because I think you are going to lose to Florida in the SEC Championship game. Sorry, just my opinion)
First off, my boy Instant Tragedy wanted to place a side wager on the OU-Texas Tech game, which I accepted, even though I thought Tech had a good chance to beat us, even in Norman. So, after a pretty awesome display at home by my Sooners and their fans, IT will be regaling us with his version of Boomer Sooner next summer at Okie-Vegas 4. I'm quite sure he at least knows the tune now after hearing it over and over again during that game.
Then, this comment following the OU-Tech game:
You may find this hard to believe; but I'm actually cheering for your Boomer Sooners. But knowing my luck, OU would then go ahead of UT in the BCS and get the chance at the National Title even though Texas Beat OU. Of course Tech beat Texas.
And of course, truer words were never spoken. Will, you should have been rooting harder for Baylor last Saturday. Had they upset Tech, then you win the tie-breaker with us, regardless of BCS ranking.
Then, my boy Oossuuu754 and his orange and black Cowboys from Oklahoma State stood in our way, coming into the Bedlam battle with their best team in a good long while. They are well deserving of their #14 BCS ranking, I can assure you, however, when it comes to high-powered offenses, there was only one standing at the end of the game.
Now first off let me say that I in no way, shape or form, think that OU is any better than Texas. They have a good squad, unfortunatley for them, they lost after they beat us and that usually always spells disaster in the BCS rankings. Every year, it comes down to 3 or 4 or 5 teams and it usually boils down to who lost last when it comes to who gets left out. That's the system in place and that's the way it's been for the last 8 or 9 years, so why argue about that now?
Until there is some sort of playoff in place, there is always going to be a team or a couple of teams that deserve to get their shot and don't, because of the BCS system. Sorry about your luck.
Oklahoma was fortunate to get hot at the right time and nip Texas in the BCS rankings. Do I think Texas is a better team than OU? They were in October, not so much now. Do I think OU is a better team than Texas? They weren't in October, but I like their chances right now. That's what it comes down to, getting hot at the right time, impressing the voters and..............the last criteria that I believe favors my Sooners...........STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE.
Oklahoma is the only team in the land to defeat 4 teams ranked in the BCS top 15. Texas Tech, TCU, Cincinatti and Oklahoma State are all in the top 15 in the BCS standings this week and we beat them all. Granted, only one of those games was on the road, but we still had a much tougher schedule than Texas had this year. Joe Castiglione, our athletic director, designs that schedule every year to give us the best possible chance to succeed in the BCS and obviously, he knows what he's doing.
As for Mack Brown's argument that they should use head to head to decide the champion, that doesn't work, and he knows it. You can't use head to head, then the BCS standings to eliminate Tech and then go back to head to head to eliminate OU. You use head to head and if it's still tied, you go on to the next tie-breaker, as dictated by the conference. His argument made sense to him because it's the only argument he and the Texas fans had at their disposal, because any other alternative tie-breaker went in our favor. Yes, they beat Missouri this year and yes, they beat OU this year, but you know what? They lost to Tech and opened the door. All they had to do was beat Tech, catch that interception on the previous play or tackle Crabtree before he scored, beat Tech and all their problems are solved. Again, sorry about your luck.
So, my Sooners backed in to the Big 12 Championship game against Missouri this weekend. I don't happen to see it that way, but everybody is entitled to their opinion. We'll still be playing hard saturday night, because you know what? A trip with destiny, a chance at yet another National Championship awaits against either Alabama or Florida, if we can beat Missouri.
Texas' gripe: We beat OU head to head. Sorry about your luck.
Tech's gripe: We had to play the game in Norman this year. Sorry about your luck.
OSU's gripe: I have no idea other than that it wasn't Bradford's right thumb that got hurt. Again, sorry about your luck.
I've talked about luck in poker alot right here on this blog and my Sooners have needed a good bit of luck to get where they are at right now. You have to put yourself in position to get lucky and they have done that better than anyone in the country this year.
One more subject before I quit tonight: Heisman Trophy.
If anybody doesn't think the sight of Sam Bradford hurtling through the air, upside down, trying to score a touchdown isn't going to sway the voters. Hmmm, well, maybe it's his statistics as well, but I think he is the hands down Heisman Trophy winner this year. Apologies to Tim Tebow and to Colt McCoy, but it's a one-man race right now and his statistics far outweigh anything the other two have done, in my humble opinion.
posted by GaryC @ 3:47 PM, ,